Self-Esteem

Healthy self-esteem is one of the most important qualities anyone can have in order to live a full life, so it’s important to understand what it really is. It should not be confused with arrogance or the ego.

Self Esteem is an appreciation of one’s own fundamental value as a living being.  It is also an appreciation that everyone else has that same inherent value. It is an understanding of what every life is worthy of in terms of the way it is treated and what is available to it. It is not a feeling of superiority compared to any other being, as this is the ego which is delusional. There is a misunderstanding which sees self-esteem in terms of ‘haves’ and ‘have not’s’ based on factors like material wealth, social popularity and looks.  While these properties may make it easier for someone to have a sense of self-esteem, this would ultimately be false as it is based on external factors rather than an understanding of one’s fundamental nature.

We can all become in touch with our true selves, and through this will come true self-esteem.  It does not require any external commodities, despite what the world of advertising will have you believe. There is lots of money to be made in the idea that you need to buy this or that in order to be worthy. The manipulative nature of advertising is well known by now as it’s been round for decades, yet it still works on a grand scale. 

There are also more subtle ways that the media in general can create a false understanding of self-worth. A lot of the most popular shows are based around competition and a concept of direct success or failure, winners and losers. In this narrative, it is the same idea being promoted that you need to have or achieve certain things in order to feel like a fully worthy person. This is also a concept which most of the dramas, soaps and comedies on TV are based around as well as mainstream films and music. No wonder people struggle with self-esteem!  Indeed the very nature of having ‘must watch’ shows is also opposed to self-esteem as it discourages being true to yourself.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything fundamentally wrong with these kinds of entertainment. It is perfectly OK to enjoy these things, as long as you have perspective. Perspective and awareness are so important in all areas of life, as they stop from getting lost in delusional ideas. Supporting a sports team is a good example of this, it can be enjoyed for the entertainment that it is but some people take it too far. Addiction is also encouraged by the media as they want people to carry on watching their shows, there’s a balance to find.

Everyone is different, yet everyone is equally valuable. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, and our own paths and purpose. While some peoples life may seem more significant on an external level, it is no more important than anyone else’s at the core inner level. True self-esteem is being in touch with your own purpose and understanding of who you are, without diluting these things to fit anyone else’s expectations.

Exercise, and relating it to wider life Philosophy

I think generally, exercise is over-rated. It has its benefits, but too many people feel a pressure to do it like they 'should'. When people feel like they should do something rather than actually wanting to it's usually a bad sign.

Some people will try and tell you you need to do a prescribed amount of exercise each week in order to be healthy, I don't believe this. I think it's generally beneficial to be active, such as walking about and getting fresh air regularly, but a lot of advice seems to go too far. You don't need to go to a gym, or run and play sport all the time. If you enjoy it then fine do it, but if not why would you?

Life is about doing what you enjoy and what's right for YOU, not doing things based on others opinions or ideals. Get in touch with your soul - the inner energy of your body; that will always give you the answer.

My experience with more strenuous exercise is after the initial endorphins I feel more tired than I did. I've tried to get into the habit of regular exercise on a few occasions and it's never stuck, because I don't feel any better for it (I feel worse). I don't think it's a case of if I stuck with it for longer I'd feel better. I might be fitter, but my gut feeling is - why am I doing this? So while some might see it as giving up or a failure, I see it as a realisation it's not for me. I'm sure it's not for a lot of people really. It's a good example of how what many call failure is actually the right decision to move away from something.

Everyone is different, there's not a one size fits all policy for life. This is the same with careers, relationships, where you live... you name it. It's not about perceived ideals, it's about the whole picture and what's right for YOU. People are afraid of being perceived as boring, but sometimes happiness comes with simplicity and appreciating the small things more.

So maybe if you think you should be doing more with your life you should try some new things and see how it goes. It's good to mix things up. But there's nothing wrong with simplicity and routine. If you're too busy chasing dreams and wild ideas, you risk missing the beauty that is in front of you right now. Life is always now, that's all there is - so make sure you live in life rather than in fantasy.

Dreams

Chasing the Magic Dragon is highly encouraged in our society. Focusing on an image of a better future for motivation. From a life in another country, to a new job, a new relationship; whatever the content may be. It's common for people to have an image in their head of where they want to go. But how often does this image turn out to be an accurate reflection of what actually happens? And how often does it change? 

Of course we need some idea of what we want to do with out life, at least for the near future or we couldn't do anything. But the whole notion of ambitions and goals seems strange to me. What you want to do with your life can change from moment to moment, because that's all life is - the moment. Trying to project a plan to the future and then sticking to it without the chance to change your mind is just holding yourself back, in a cage of static ideas.

Naturally, in the modern world things are done in plans. People have permanent jobs, relationships and houses that require commitment. Marriage, mortgages, families - woe betide anyone who betrays these things. We are put into contracts which then make it immoral to break them. There is little room for flexibility.

So there's a balance to strike between practicality and flexibility, not over-committing or getting too carried away with future plans. We all learn about the complexity and uncertainty of life as we live it. The challenge is to embrace that uncertainty, and live in the present moment rather than get carried away about what could happen further down the line.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBVkk5rW0lw