Self-Esteem

Healthy self-esteem is one of the most important qualities anyone can have in order to live a full life, so it’s important to understand what it really is. It should not be confused with arrogance or the ego.

Self Esteem is an appreciation of one’s own fundamental value as a living being.  It is also an appreciation that everyone else has that same inherent value. It is an understanding of what every life is worthy of in terms of the way it is treated and what is available to it. It is not a feeling of superiority compared to any other being, as this is the ego which is delusional. There is a misunderstanding which sees self-esteem in terms of ‘haves’ and ‘have not’s’ based on factors like material wealth, social popularity and looks.  While these properties may make it easier for someone to have a sense of self-esteem, this would ultimately be false as it is based on external factors rather than an understanding of one’s fundamental nature.

We can all become in touch with our true selves, and through this will come true self-esteem.  It does not require any external commodities, despite what the world of advertising will have you believe. There is lots of money to be made in the idea that you need to buy this or that in order to be worthy. The manipulative nature of advertising is well known by now as it’s been round for decades, yet it still works on a grand scale. 

There are also more subtle ways that the media in general can create a false understanding of self-worth. A lot of the most popular shows are based around competition and a concept of direct success or failure, winners and losers. In this narrative, it is the same idea being promoted that you need to have or achieve certain things in order to feel like a fully worthy person. This is also a concept which most of the dramas, soaps and comedies on TV are based around as well as mainstream films and music. No wonder people struggle with self-esteem!  Indeed the very nature of having ‘must watch’ shows is also opposed to self-esteem as it discourages being true to yourself.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything fundamentally wrong with these kinds of entertainment. It is perfectly OK to enjoy these things, as long as you have perspective. Perspective and awareness are so important in all areas of life, as they stop from getting lost in delusional ideas. Supporting a sports team is a good example of this, it can be enjoyed for the entertainment that it is but some people take it too far. Addiction is also encouraged by the media as they want people to carry on watching their shows, there’s a balance to find.

Everyone is different, yet everyone is equally valuable. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, and our own paths and purpose. While some peoples life may seem more significant on an external level, it is no more important than anyone else’s at the core inner level. True self-esteem is being in touch with your own purpose and understanding of who you are, without diluting these things to fit anyone else’s expectations.

Exercise, and relating it to wider life Philosophy

I think generally, exercise is over-rated. It has its benefits, but too many people feel a pressure to do it like they 'should'. When people feel like they should do something rather than actually wanting to it's usually a bad sign.

Some people will try and tell you you need to do a prescribed amount of exercise each week in order to be healthy, I don't believe this. I think it's generally beneficial to be active, such as walking about and getting fresh air regularly, but a lot of advice seems to go too far. You don't need to go to a gym, or run and play sport all the time. If you enjoy it then fine do it, but if not why would you?

Life is about doing what you enjoy and what's right for YOU, not doing things based on others opinions or ideals. Get in touch with your soul - the inner energy of your body; that will always give you the answer.

My experience with more strenuous exercise is after the initial endorphins I feel more tired than I did. I've tried to get into the habit of regular exercise on a few occasions and it's never stuck, because I don't feel any better for it (I feel worse). I don't think it's a case of if I stuck with it for longer I'd feel better. I might be fitter, but my gut feeling is - why am I doing this? So while some might see it as giving up or a failure, I see it as a realisation it's not for me. I'm sure it's not for a lot of people really. It's a good example of how what many call failure is actually the right decision to move away from something.

Everyone is different, there's not a one size fits all policy for life. This is the same with careers, relationships, where you live... you name it. It's not about perceived ideals, it's about the whole picture and what's right for YOU. People are afraid of being perceived as boring, but sometimes happiness comes with simplicity and appreciating the small things more.

So maybe if you think you should be doing more with your life you should try some new things and see how it goes. It's good to mix things up. But there's nothing wrong with simplicity and routine. If you're too busy chasing dreams and wild ideas, you risk missing the beauty that is in front of you right now. Life is always now, that's all there is - so make sure you live in life rather than in fantasy.

Dreams

Chasing the Magic Dragon is highly encouraged in our society. Focusing on an image of a better future for motivation. From a life in another country, to a new job, a new relationship; whatever the content may be. It's common for people to have an image in their head of where they want to go. But how often does this image turn out to be an accurate reflection of what actually happens? And how often does it change? 

Of course we need some idea of what we want to do with out life, at least for the near future or we couldn't do anything. But the whole notion of ambitions and goals seems strange to me. What you want to do with your life can change from moment to moment, because that's all life is - the moment. Trying to project a plan to the future and then sticking to it without the chance to change your mind is just holding yourself back, in a cage of static ideas.

Naturally, in the modern world things are done in plans. People have permanent jobs, relationships and houses that require commitment. Marriage, mortgages, families - woe betide anyone who betrays these things. We are put into contracts which then make it immoral to break them. There is little room for flexibility.

So there's a balance to strike between practicality and flexibility, not over-committing or getting too carried away with future plans. We all learn about the complexity and uncertainty of life as we live it. The challenge is to embrace that uncertainty, and live in the present moment rather than get carried away about what could happen further down the line.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBVkk5rW0lw

Energy

Energy comes from within; there's a big psychological element to it. If you're doing something which engages you or you feel is worth doing, you'll find the energy for it. I think we all subconsciously weigh up the factors that makes something worth doing (or not) at a given time. If the result of that process is a no, we'll feel tired even if consciously the mind may think we want to do it.

So people can get frustrated - 'why do I always feel tired?' a lot of the time it'll be because we're not engaged with what we're doing. So either we have to change the activity or change our understanding of why we're doing it. The conventional methods of nutrition, more sleep and exercise do help, but this misses a big part of the picture. Conversely too much sleep or exercise can make us feel more tired.

Energy is not just like a tank of water that runs down until we sleep or eat. Energy is also generated from within, and how much depends on how engaged we are with our own lives and purpose.

What's the alternative?

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard this response to a progressive argument. When someone points out the flaws of the current state of something, a lot of people reply along the lines of 'I agree, but what else can we do?'

When has life ever been finite? Looking back through history, what has remained the same? Nothing. If there's one constant it's that things change, whether for better or worse. How they change is up to us. So pretending, whether through stubbornness, laziness, selfishness or whatever reason that things cannot change in any given situation is an inappropriate response.  Certainly change may be hard, or complicated, but change will happen in one way or another and it's up to us to guide it.

Significant examples of when this response is given is when discussing our economic systems, government policies, workplace policies and even plans for a day out. But it can of course apply to any given situation, as everything is in flux. One way of understanding this is through the basics of Quantum Physics, but you could also say it's just common sense.

Our world is in great transition and we need to be flexible and open minded enough to guide it in the right direction, listening to out hearts as well as our heads.

The Pramble is over, but the campaign is not.

Well what an experience it’s been. It’s easy to underestimate the sheer scale of what we’ve put into action over the last 2 weeks of March. The planning stage began back in the summer as a follow on from the re-launch of the maternal mortality blanket at Manchester Cathedral. The original launch of that blanket was around 3 years ago. Back then the number of women dying was 1400 a day compared to the current 1000. At least some progress has been made, even though there’s a long way to go….

When we questioned under-secretary of state for international development Stephen O’Brien in parliament on the penultimate day of the Pramble, I’m glad he said that“women and girls are at the heart of our development plans”. This is as discrimination against women is a huge barrier to development in a lot of the poorest countries. Furthermore the reason why our Manchester Oxfam Group chose to campaign on maternal mortality rates is that it is the least performing of theMillennium Development Goals set by the United Nations.

I can honestly say being involved with the Pramble has been a great experience. I’ve met lots of new people, seen lots of new places and developed a lot of skills. All of which has been part of an enjoyable and worthwhile campaign. There is nothing like taking positive action for what you believe in.

This has been recognised for thousands of years, indeed Aristotle said in the 4^thcentury BC that ‘active citizenship’ was an essential part of the good life. Things we take for granted in our country today like freedom of speech, votes for women and most relevantly free health care would not have been achieved if hundreds of thousands of people hadn’t campaigned on what they believed in. So for me campaigning with organisations like Oxfam is more than an ‘extra-curricular activity’ or ‘a bit of fun’ it’s who I am. If we as humans don’t have our principles, then what do we have?

On the whole most people in the UK are better off than the majority of countries around the world. People’s relevant comfort is probably a reason why a lot of people don’t see the point in campaigning for a more just world. I think another reason is the habits of the mainstream media, tending to focus on stories which only affect this country and are often not significant to key humanitarian issues. However I’m confident that anyone who takes part in a charity project like this one finds it rewarding and often will go on to do more voluntary work. If everyone in the UK spent just half an hour each week doing some kind of voluntary activity for the benefit of others, I’m confident that the nation would be much happier as would the wider world.

The campaign to save the lives of women all over the world goes on. Everyone can play a valuable part in that; you don’t need any qualifications, just a heart. Our Manchester Oxfam Group will now decide what other issues we want to turn our attention to, and how we want to campaign on them. The group is open to everyone and their ideas, so please contact us if you want to get involved.

I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has made the Pramble campaign possible. It’s a great achievement that a large number of people have between them managed to walk from Manchester to London with 4 prams, 1000 cubes and lots of other equipment!

Here’s to campaigning, justice and mums…

The deep benefits of meditation

I used to think meditation was some kind of ‘new age’ practice done by the sort of people who were just into the latest fad, or trying to seek attention by standing out. Of course to call meditation new age is laughable. It’s been around for thousands of years, especially in eastern cultures and religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism. Indeed most religions involve a form of prayer, which has marked similarities with meditation – closing your eyes and concentrating on a kind of higher power or life force, for a greater sense of well-being and connectedness.

Meditation can be most simply defined as bringing awareness into the present moment; to become aware of one’s own emotions, thoughts and surroundings at a particular time. So how does this help? Quite simply, the more awareness we have of something, the better we can deal with it. This is why we have an education system. Meditation is what they would teach in the ‘University Of Life’. It is an education on how to manage your emotions and thoughts effectively. I can say definitively, even from my relatively small time of practice that such an education makes a big difference.

Just think about it, how many times in human history have people suffered due to the irrationality caused by poor management of mind and emotions, by themselves or others? In other words, how many times could a clear head and a more objective stance have improved someone’s actions? Countless, these mistakes are made every second of every day. Of course everyone is human and many of these things will be small, but many larger ‘unconscious’ happenings have scarred the very legacy of humanity.

If you’re aware of your thoughts and emotions, you don’t get taken over by them. You don’t get trapped in your head and lose focus on the bigger picture. The failure to do this is a common element of many mental illnesses like depression and anxiety disorders. More broadly the Buddha’s explanation for all human suffering as an ‘attachment to desire’ can be interpreted as this same failure to be aware of one’s own state and surroundings. Perhaps the most basic human instinct of all is to avoid suffering.

So just how do you meditate? Well there are a variety of ways to quieten the mind and become more still. A common way is to sit somewhere free from distraction, close your eyes and notice how you are feeling. Take a few seconds to notice any emotions you have, and then a few more to notice how busy your mind is. You may then move your attention to your breath in order to quieten the mind and further increase your awareness. There are loads of guided meditations freely available on the internet, mostly lasting between 5 and 15 minutes. It may seem strange or even pointless at first, but if you stick with it you will definitely start noticing the benefits.

I’ve written this because I think there are many people suffering on this planet at the moment due to a lack of human awareness. There is much inequality, violence and hardship which is the result of many decisions taken from a state of unconsciousness – being consumed by mind and emotions rather than observing them objectively. Human intelligence is far greater than the simple tool of thought. That may sound strange, however if you try meditation I think it will seem less so.